Our Circle Grows

Merriam-Webster defines the word “tribe” as a social division in a traditional society consisting of families or communities linked by social, economic, religious, or blood ties, with a common culture and dialect, typically having a recognized leader. While I may not be a well-recognized literary powerhouse, I would like to tweak that definition just a bit based on my experience over the past several weeks. I believe the original definition focuses too much on creating divisions and not enough on the unity of the whole.

Originally when I wrote about our “Miller tribe” I was operating under the guise that my little family lived and functioned as an autonomous force. Like early tribal groups that lived in hostile, unforgiving environments, when faced with danger or a challenge the Millers would draw in close to one another huddled in a circle of solidarity, ready to take on the enemy as one. Over the past weeks the Miller tribe has met a foe that we cannot beat alone; one that has attacked our youngest, most vulnerable, and most innocent member. But also during that time, we have seen our circle expand by multitudes.

Many people lovingly refer to my kids as “stair steps”, with Hazel being the shortest stair on our tiny set of steps. With her shock of red hair, deep blue eyes, and fair complexion, she portrays a stark contrast to my other three blonde, dark complected offspring. I think every parent would say their kids are the best mix of their and their spouse’s personality traits, but I have yet to see a more spirited combination than what is found in the tiny package of dynamite that is Hazel Elizabeth Miller. Headstrong, decisive, yet compassionate, Hazel has always been unafraid and ready for any new adventure. I have yet to see her back down from a challenge, no matter great or small.

Ever since she was born, Hazel has been the glue that pulls our little family together. Her siblings may tease her now and then, but heaven help the poor soul that may say a cross word to Hazel on the playground. I have watched from afar as my three eldest descended like a pack of hungry wolves on anyone they believe had wronged their Hazel Basil.

That isn’t to say that Hazel can’t take care of herself too. Being the youngest of four (and a girl to boot) warrants a certain brand of toughness that can’t be taught, it’s just inherent. Her siblings (and a few nurses) can attest to the power and accuracy with which her adorable little legs can deliver a swift kick if the situation warrants, yet oddly enough in nearly all instances the person on the receiving end of her wrath would rather hug her than retaliate.

Hazel seems to have that effect on people. She loves so innocently that it is almost as if it is contagious, bringing out the best in nearly every person that she meets. Over the past two weeks I have witnessed the “Hazel Effect” on a grand scale. Within 24 hours of Hazel’s diagnosis my family witnessed a tremendous outpouring of love on every front imaginable. We had friends and family sitting with us in the hospital, calling us, setting up financial support, prayer chains, Amazon lists, non-profits, the list goes on and on. The response was so overwhelming and so immediate, we almost couldn’t process what was happening. In addition to our friends and family, we had complete strangers contacting us from local and national organizations offering to help, the hospital put us in touch with financial counselors, psychologists, and social workers. Churches sent cards, set up meals, offered to mow our yard while we were gone.

Watching this unfold is a humbling experience; to know that so many people on this earth care what happens to my daughter rocks me to my soul. Years ago while I was a freelance writer I had written a short piece on the concept of relationship webs. Essentially, the relationships we develop during this lifetime do not exist in straight lines, but instead exist as web that is weaved throughout time, the strength of which varies depending on a variety of factors including the experiences shared, time spent together, and spatial proximity to one another. In my writing I had argued that the strength of a relationship did not have to necessarily be built over time, but instead could be gauged on the impact that each participant had on the other.

Hazel puts that theory to the test as she has literally thousands of people across the country praying for her and providing support. Many of these people have likely not even met Hazel face to face, but they know someone who has. The impact that Hazel has had on the people she has met is what connects us all as a whole. It is what drives us, gives us hope, and allows us to face each day.

Over the course of the last two weeks, my perspective has changed a great deal. My point of view used to be, “If any of my kids had a life threatening disease, it would crush me. I don’t know how I would go on.” My experience with childhood cancer is minimal thus far but has taught me many things already, the least of which is not the indomitable will of the human spirit to charge forward even in the toughest of times.

As we charge forward, we are so thankful to have you all with us along the way. This journey will not be easy; we know it will be wrought with heartache, uncertainty, and fear. But we also know we are not alone, in faith nor in number. Our tribe has grown and our circle is fortified with warriors of all types. We are ready for the fight. The #MillerTribe thrives.

“But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.” – 2 Corinthians 12:9-10