The Passing of Time

It has been said, 'time heals all wounds.' I do not agree. The wounds remain. In time, the mind, protecting its sanity, covers them with scar tissue and the pain lessens. But it is never gone. ― Rose Fitzgerald Kennedy

Time is an ever-fleeting commodity, a proposed theoretical record, a temporal measure of our existence on this earth that can be experienced by individuals as well as academically understood on a worldwide community-based level. We each experience our time differently. Time does not change. Minutes do not speed up or shorten, time is not lost, nor is it stolen from us. Time can feel limitless, stretching across an immensity so consuming that a second can seem to take forever to pass. But time can also be so transitory that a year can feel like a single passing moment.

We all have the same number of hours in a day. No one has more or less time than anyone else from a scheduling standpoint. It’s easy to think of our “time” as simply the days, weeks, and months that are filled with jobs, parties, hobbies, responsibilities – the things we put our efforts into to create a “life”. But what is a “life”? What does it mean to live? I think it means to be grateful, to celebrate, to rejoice. I think it means to experience as much goodness as we can on this earth. I think living means to enjoy our blessings, to love our family, and to draw closer to our friends.

Hazel’s battle with cancer continues to teach me many things. Since her diagnosis, I have seen my young daughter in a new light. I have first thought of her as a cancer-stricken victim, fighting for her life in the direst of circumstances. I then saw her as an inspiration, a fighter, a warrior impervious to the struggles that she faces every day as her treatments continue. But today I see Hazel much differently.

Hazel is now my teacher, a sage mentor that delivers lessons not through what she says, but through her actions. At just 2.5 years old, Hazel has already experienced more than I have in my 34 years. She has seen more specialists, undergone more medical testing, and fought more battles than I have. Her pain has been greater, her tears richer, her struggles more relevant. And yet, her joy and love of life continue to bubble to the surface, overpowering all the sadness that surrounds her current situation.

Hazel remains an enduring testament to thankfulness, childlike wonder, and grace while dealing with a terrible, life-threatening disease. Hazel has shown me what it means to be created in God’s image. She laughs, dances, and giggles often. She loves fiercely. She is compassionate, she is empathetic, and she is trusting. She is, perfect.

Over the past months, I have said “Cancer teaches me this” or “I have learned this from cancer”, but that puts my focus in the wrong direction. I have for too long thought of cancer as the biggest concept in this struggle. The reality is, cancer has taught me nothing. Cancer is nothing. Cancer just happens, it's a disease, a meaningless biological change that affects a human body, but cannot touch the human spirit. Hazel has shown me that, and I will forever be humbled because of it.

Hazel has taught me to trust in what we cannot see. She has taught me to love deeper, rejoice more fully, cherish what I have, and to be ever faithful. Hazel has done this, NOT cancer. Because for all her pain, all of the anguish, the confusion, and the doubt Hazel has not once acted like a victim of her circumstance. She has not mourned, she has not complained, and she has not given up. I owe it to her to do the same.

Hazel has taught me to aspire to faith that can move mountains. She remains patient, focused, driven to live life and to love it regardless of the obstacles in front of her. At times, I see so much of God’s hand in her that I am overcome with emotion. It’s as if her struggle has awoken my spirit, set something astir inside of me and I am restless. I am charged and empowered, liberated from the shackles of everyday life because my goals are so much greater than this world can fathom.

Hazel has shown me who Jesus is through her and for that I am forever in her debt. She has taught me that time is precious, yet meaningless all at once. The amount of time we have on this earth means far less than what we do with that time. Tomorrow is not guaranteed, for me, for you, or for Hazel. But today can be great, and it’s up to us to make it that way.

Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever. – Hebrews 13:8